Wings of Freedom
by iambadwolff
Summary: Sequel to Attack on the Games. Mikasa Ackerman has just won the 74th Annual Games that the Capitol hosts every year. Now her life is about to change forever. Plagued with memories and nightmares, Mikasa has much more dangerous and deadlier challenges to face then she'd ever expected.
1. Chapter 1

Attack on the Games: Part Two Chapter 1

**The Grave**

My name is Mikasa Ackerman and I live in a merciless, yet beautiful world. I have learned that in order to survive in a merciless world, I too, must become merciless. And I did just that in order to survive the Capitols Games.

Six months ago I volunteered to be a Player in the 74th Games. As punishment for the rebellions that happened after the Walls were built, the Capitol takes one boy and one girl in each of the six Districts to fight to the death in the Games to remind us that we are powerless against the Capitol. And I volunteered to be in that death match for one reason only; to protect the only family I had left, Eren Jaeger. I failed protecting him but I made a promise to him that I would keep on fighting and keep on living. So I became merciless and I won the Games.

I was warned by my Mentor that my life will be forever changed and he was right. Everything is different now both for the best and the worst. The good changes that have been made that with my winnings my District, which was once very poor, is a little better off now. But now my life is almost completely controlled by the Capitol. I was moved to Victors Lane, which is a gated neighborhood with very large houses for the Victors. Unfortunately, District Six doesn't get much Victors and the only people living in Victors Lane are my Mentor, Levi, who won the Games five years ago and now me. Technically, Levi doesn't actually come from District Six. He grew up alone in an underground village that the Capitol eventually found and killed everyone who lived there besides Levi. That year they then placed Levi in District Six's Reaping but his name was the only boys name to choose from so he would be put into the Games no matter what as punishment. Levi got his revenge by winning the Games though and was known to be one of the Games most deadly Victors.

I'm all alone in this huge house because I have no family left. My parents were murdered when I was nine and after I was adopted by Eren's family, his dad mysteriously disappeared and his mom was killed by raiders and now Eren's gone as well. I didn't want to move to this huge house only to be by myself but I didn't have a choice.

My friend Armin does come to visit me often though. It's nice to have him for company. At first I thought that he would hate me for failing to protect Eren but he's never blamed me and he's helped me a lot during my low times. He's been a great friend and I don't know what I'd do without his help.

I step out of my new house into the brisk winter air. I'm immediately faced with Levi's house that's right across the street from mine. Ever since returning to District Six I've barely seen Levi. I don't know what I was expecting from him but it definitely wasn't this. I didn't expect to be ignored by him after returning home and I start to feel a familiar ache in my chest that I usually get when I think of Levi.

But I have no time to dwell on thoughts of Levi because I have somewhere to be right now. I make my way through the rundown part of the District. It's comforting being in this part of town again. I enjoy the familiarity of it and seeing all the familiar faces again. Everyone smiles at me as I pass them and I smile back. Everyone thanked me for everything I've done for them. After I won, my District was given money and food from my winnings. They all have been very grateful and they've never blamed me for what happened to Eren even if I still do.

I make it to the gate at the edge of our District and am greeted by the Wall Guards. They patrol and guard the Wall and the borders of our town, because we are not allowed go outside of our District. But Hannes is a friend of mine and the Guards here have stopped caring about the Capitols rules so they allow me to pass.

"Hey, Mikasa." Hannes is on guard duty today and I pull out his alcohol in exchange for letting me outside the gate. But he shakes his head at me. "No. No more. I haven't drunk since you and Eren were taken."

I put the alcohol back in my bag. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, you can still pass." He says smiling but he must have noticed something in my expression because his smile fades. "Look, Mikasa, you have to stop blaming yourself for what happened to Eren. It wasn't you who put him in the Games, it was the Capitol."

I nod and pass through the gate and make my way to Eren's favorite oak tree. Usually after a Player dies in the Games, their remains are sent back home to their families for a proper burial. But Eren didn't have any family. So we never got his body back. They gave him a headstone in the graveyard but I couldn't bare visit an empty grave. Instead, I come to see Eren by visiting his favorite oak tree. There's more of his spirit here than anywhere else in this town.

I kneel in front of the tree and place a hand on the rough bark and bow my head. This is my first time coming out here since coming back from the Capitol. And this is my first time to properly mourn him. Tears start rolling down my face harder and harder and a cry escapes me and I'm crying harder than I've ever cried before. My cries turn into gut-wrenching sobs and my entire body is shaking and I can't seem to stop myself. I wasn't able to cry for Eren in the Games, it just didn't seem real at the time. But now that I'm back it's finally really starting to sink in that he's gone forever. I miss Eren more and more each day.

Since returning from the Games my nightmares have gotten even worse. I can't escape Eren's hateful stare from when I saw him in my hallucinations from the Tracker-jackers. I know nobody blames me for what happened to Eren and I shouldn't blame myself but I can't help but feel that it is Eren who blames me the most. I also see all of the faces of the people I killed and the ones I couldn't save in my nightmares. It's not only my nights that are plagued with vicious images of the Games but everywhere I go even the littlest of things will trigger violent flashbacks and I'm powerless and incapacitated for a few seconds to a minute or more.

I make my way back to my house but something's not right. There's two military police standing outside my front door and suddenly two more burst out of Levi's house with an enraged Levi in their grasp. What is happening?

"Levi!" I call and he looks over at me, there's panic in his eyes and he's about to say something but I suddenly feel someone grab my arm.

"Ms. Ackerman, if you would please just calmly enter your house. The President is waiting for you both," a Military Policeman tells me and escorts me into my own house and Levi follows.

The President? It's almost unheard of for the President himself to come to the Districts. And I have no idea why he would want to see me. Unless it's something extremely serious, then I'm in trouble. _We're both in trouble_, I think looking back at Levi, who is still in the Military Police's grasp. They take us to my office, it's big and empty because I never use it but President Darius Zackly is there sitting behind my desk and Levi and I are forced to sit in the two chairs in front of him. The President isn't really a cruel man but he is known to be very strict and showing no mercy if you break his rules. And there is always a strange heaviness around him that puts even the bravest man on edge.

"Well, if it isn't my two favorite Victors," the President says smiling at us with his pure white teeth. But his smile makes me extremely uncomfortable, it reminds me of a cunning cat that's about to pounce on its prey. "We came knocking on your door, Mikasa, but nobody answered. Where were you just now?"

I try to speak but no words come. They can't know that I've went beyond the boundary of the town. "Just for a walk," I finally manage to say.

"It's a little cold for a stroll wouldn't you say?" The President asks and adjusts his glasses.

"I actually find it refreshing. It clears my head."

"Just tell us why you're here and get it over with already," Levi says sounding bored. I take a nervous glance at him but the President just laughs.

"You're still inappropriate as always, Levi. Very well, I will get down to the point. As you know, tomorrow you will be going on your Victors Tour. I came to warn you that tensions in the Districts are exceptionally high because of you, Mikasa. Oh yes, I heard the rumors. I've heard what they are calling you, _Wings of Freedom_."

"I didn't have anything to do with those rumors! I never meant for that to happen!" I try to desperately explain.

"Oh, I know, dear. But I want those rumors to stop. You may think that you're invincible and you have nothing left to lose but you have no idea what we can do to you, right, Levi?" the President smirks at my Mentor and my blood runs cold and Levi's bored expression turns into a deep scowl. "So since you both already have a reputation I need you two to be on your best behavior during the Tour."

I nod and the President smiles. He gets up to leave and pats my head on the way out and his Military Police follow. I let out a relieved breath once they leave and I look over at Levi. His face is still in a deep scowl and his forehead is broke out in sweat.

"Bastard," Levi curses. "He came all the way from the Capitol to just tell us to behave? Something's not right about this." He then looks over at me. "Come on, Hanji will be here soon. We better get ready." He also gets up to leave but I reach out and grab his sleeve.

"Wait, Levi," I start and he freezes. His shoulders tense up but he slowly turns to look at me. His face, as always, is unreadable and I'm once again lost in his dark eyes. It's been so long since I've seen him I've almost forgot how entrancing they can be.

Before I can say anything though there's a knock on the door. "Mikasa?" Armin's voice calls out.

I let go of Levi and he takes a few steps back. "Come in, Armin," I answer.

A few moments later Armin finds his way to us. He's taken aback when he sees Levi. "Oh, hello, Levi," he says awkwardly. "How are you?"

Levi just scoffs. "I was just leaving." And he exits the room without a second glance back.

Armin looks back at me with a very confused look. "Mikasa, I saw the President leaving Victors Lane. Was he here?"

"Yes, he was. He threatened me and Levi. He knows about the rumors people in the outer Walls are saying about me," I explain. "I don't know what to do, Armin. The Victors Tour is tomorrow and if I can't convince the President and everyone else that I'm not the _Wings of Freedom_ something horrible is going to happen."

"It's okay, Mikasa. You just need to act normal and stay low. All you have to do is just say a few words and you're done," Armin reassures me. And I already feel a little better.

"Come with me," I say suddenly grabbing his hands.

Armin's eyes widen. "What!?"

"On the Tour! Come with me on the Tour, please. I would feel a lot better if you were with me. You always have such great ideas."

"I-is that even allowed?" He asks.

"I'm sure if I just talk to Hanji it should be fine," I tell him.

Armin smiles at me. "Of course I'll go on the Tour with you. That is, only if it's allowed."

I hug him. "Thank you, Armin." I close my eyes and smile. "Thank you."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**The Tour**

My escort Hanji arrives a few hours later with Ida, my Stylist. It's a happy reunion and there's a great deal of hugs and kisses to go around. It feels like it's been much longer than six months since I've seen them and I can't remember the last time I've smiled this much. But then I tell them about how President Darius Zackly stopped by for a visit and when he said to Levi and me.

"Where is Levi?" Hanji asks.

I shrug. "He left after the President left. I don't see him very often."

Hanji looks at me very curiously. "Really? Well anyways, the cameras will be here soon so we have you get you all spruced up! So I'll let Ida get started on you and I'll just go get Levi."

Minutes later Hanji returns with a disgruntled Levi. "Oi, I'm not going to be in the stupid pictures so why do I need to get ready?" Levi says annoyed.

"Because they might want a picture of the entire Team, that's why. Besides, who doesn't like to get fancied up once in a while?" Hanji remarks and I could argue with that but I don't say anything.

A few hours later the cameramen are already waiting outside my house and we all make our way out. They make me stand and sit in many different poses and it gets very tiring, very fast. And just like Hanji thought, they want a picture with me and my whole Team, much to Levi's dismay. Levi and I are placed in the center because we are the shortest and Hanji stands off to Levi's side and Ida, who is gracefully the tallest, stands by my side. And it's our final shot for the day.

After that, and a few questions, all the cameramen and interviewers leave and it's only the four of us. I figure now is the perfect time to ask if Armin can join us on the Victory Tour tomorrow.

"No," Levi replies bluntly.

I let out an annoyed sigh, "I wasn't asking _you_. I was asking Hanji since she's the one who's obviously in charge." Levi glares at me and I almost smile because it feels like old times again except before we'd probably be arguing about Eren.

"Why would you want to drag him into all of this?" he asks.

I know Levi is right. It's not fair to drag Armin into my messes and I really don't want to get him involved with the Capitol. But my fears of messing something up during the Tour and having the Presidents wrath brought down upon all of us is still sharp in my mind and I feel like Armin's cool-mindedness and his strategic way of thinking would be very helpful for me on the Tour.

"Well I certainly don't see a problem with it!" Hanji adds enthusiastically and I smile at my escort. But Levi just groans and heads back towards his house. "Oi, Levi?" Hanji calls out to him but he ignores us and slams his door and disappears into his house.

"I'll go tell Armin the good news!" I say and run off into town.

* * *

><p>The next morning Hanji, Ida, and Armin have all gathered at my house before we have to leave on the train for District Five. Levi is late as usual though and everyone is getting impatient because the train will leave in a few minutes.<p>

"How dare Levi be late on such an important occasion," Hanji cries, "I'm the escort and I'm the one who has to do all the planning and he's going to make me look bad!"

"Maybe he just overslept?" Armin suggests.

"I'm going to kill him!" Hanji remarks again.

"Don't worry, Hanji. I'll go get him," I say and head out next door to get Levi.

I walk up the giant steps and am about to knock but instead I just open his door and walk in. "Levi?" I call out but the house is dark and there's no answer. I frown and continue farther into the house. To my surprise, Levi's house is extremely clean. It's even cleaner than my house and it's so clean it's almost like an obsessive clean.

"Hey! What are you doing?" A voice calls from behind me and I turn to see Levi walking in from the front door.

"Where were you?" I ask walking towards Levi. "We're going to be late for the train."

But Levi just scowls at my feet and sneers at me. "Why didn't you take your shoes off before entering my house? Now you've left mud tracks everywhere." I open my mouth but am too confused to say anything. Was Levi always such a clean-freak? "Now I'm going to have to mop my floors all over again," he says and starts to walk away from me.

"What? No!" I say and grab the collar of his shirt. "There's no time for that! Our train is going to be here any second. We have to go!"

Levi turns to glare at me. "You expect me to leave my house in this state of a mess?"

I could almost laugh but I can tell Levi is dead serious. "It's just a little mud. You can clean it when we return." And I start to drag him out of the house.

"But that won't be for another three months!" Levi cries desperately and I continue to drag him by the collar of his shirt until we get into my house. This is going to be the longest three months of my life.

* * *

><p>The three Walls are built in a circle with the Capitol at their center. District Five is all the way on the opposite side of us so we have to travel around the inside of Wall Maria before we reach it. And like how our side of the Wall has many trees, the other side of Wall Maria is a vast mountain-scape. Then we will enter Wall Rose and visit District Four, which is where the Capitol gets their power and electronics from. It's a very advanced city-scape that specializes in wind and solar power. But on the opposite side of Wall Rose is District Three. District Three is full of fields for harvest and they may not be as advanced as District Four, the people are rough and hardworking and live pleasant lives. Then we enter Wall Sina and visit the inner Districts. We will go to District Two, where the people are pampered and spoiled with soft hands because they are just the jewel and fabric makers for all the Capitols fashions. Besides the Capitol, District Two is the largest city within the Walls and has the most population. Then on the opposite side of Wall Sina is District one. The people there are strong because they are mostly blacksmiths and make weapons for the Capitol and the Military Police, as well as for the Games. And lastly, we will finally go to the Capitol at the very center. And there we will feast and party for days and I will be crowned a Victor before finally heading back home. It will be awful.<p>

It takes us a number of days until we reach District Five. Since Wall Maria is the largest Wall it takes us the longest time to reach the opposite side. I've never seen mountains before and I look out the windows in awe as we pass through the colossal, towering, mounds of solid rock. Armin stares out in wonder too.

"These mountains are nothing compared to the mountains I've read about in my grandfather's book," Armin explains. "According to the book, there are some mountain peaks that are so high that they are hidden in the clouds."

"Do you wish to see the outside world?" Levi asks him suddenly.

Armin's eyes widen, Levi hardly ever talks to him. "Yes, more than anything!" Armin tells him. Levi just smirks and goes back to reading the paper.

"You still want to go outside of the Walls someday?" I ask Armin.

"Yes. Someday I will see what's beyond these Walls even if that means I have to make them crumble myself," he says determinedly. And I'm shocked to hear such sureness in his voice. I then look back out the window because we are about to go right through the mountain into a tunnel.

It is pitch black and the lights in the tunnel are flickering but my eye catches something, if only for a second, I'm not even sure I saw it right. But it looked like a graffiti black and white wings crossed over one another. It's the symbol for the _Wings of Freedom._

"Alright, everyone," Hanji says excitedly and enters the room, "We're almost there! It's just going to be so wonderful with all the festivities and you'll be greeted magnificently and it will be just like a celebration!"

But once we arrive we are not greeted magnificently like Hanji said we would. We are met right away by numerous Military Police and also Wall Guards like the ones we have at home but these guys seem much stricter and we are led into a large truck to be taken to the Town Square.

We are taken to the public building in the Town Square. Everyone is gathered in the Town Square by force to listen to my speech as I give a eulogy about Sasha and Connie, the Players from here that died in the Games. I will be forced to look into the faces of the families of the people I killed. Even if I didn't kill Sasha and Connie, I might as well have since I'm the one alive and they're not.

"Alright, Mikasa," Hanji says handing me some note cards, "I've written your speech on here so just read from the cards and everything should just go swimmingly." I can't help but notice her shaking hands when she gives the cards to me or how nervous everyone looks. Then I remember President Darius Zachly's warning about how I must behave and how high the tensions are in the Districts are because of me. I need to be careful not to upset the District because I may start a riot and then we would all be in trouble.

Armin then grabs my hand. "It will be alright, Mikasa."

I try my best to smile as they lead me out onto the stage and I stand in front of the crowd of District Five. I start to read from Hanji's note cards but the words seem flat and detached. I then look out into the crowd and off to one side I see Connie's picture shown on a giant screen. Standing underneath the screen is a small woman with five young children who look younger than Connie. That must be Connie's family. To the other side is Sasha's picture and standing below it is an older man who must be her father. And I remember how Sasha said that her father would be happier if she didn't return to him and I'm suddenly filled with anger.

Forgetting the note cards, I start to give my own speech. "I'm truly sorry," I say looking at both of the families. "I didn't know Connie or Sasha that well but they both helped Eren and I out and saved our lives. Connie never let anything get him down and he always was smiling and cracking jokes. And Sasha was so brave and smart. She knew how to survive and it was no accident that she made it as far as she did in the Games. I meant what I said to her in the Games. I told her that she never deserved any of the things that happened to her in her short life. She was brave and strong and a loyal person. And she didn't deserve to die. Neither of them did."

I finish with a shaky breath and look out over the crowd. Everyone's faces have changed, before they all regarded me with cold, hateful eyes, now they are looking at me with respect and admiration. I must have done something right because one old man steps forward and places his right fist over his heart. It's the old salute meaning, 'We dedicate our hearts to you'. It's also a symbol for hope and freedom, used by soldiers in the days before the Walls. It's the same gesture the people in my District made to me after I volunteered to go in the Games to be with Eren.

I'm sincerely touched as the rest of the crowd copies the old man's gesture. But suddenly the Military Police push past me and grab a hold of the old man and the people in the crowd start to scatter or charge forward. And I'm suddenly grabbed by Military Police and pulled backwards towards the building. I'm screaming and the last thing I see is the Military Police forcing the old man to his knees and shooting him in the head before the doors close in front of me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**The Rumors**

I'm still screaming and crying as they drag me into a back room. I hear someone shouting something and then a door slamming and I look up and see that they left me alone in a room with Levi. He crosses the room towards me quickly and kneels down in front of me.

I clutch onto him and bury my head in his chest. "It's my fault!" I hyperventilate, "I killed that man! He's dead because of me! I couldn't save him! It's all my fault!"

"Calm down," Levi snaps at me and I look up into his cold eyes. "You need to take control of yourself. Yes, people will die because of you, but you can't let that get to your head. You can't let your emotions control you." I remember that Levi's whole village was slaughtered because of him. He knows more than anyone about the guilt of having people getting killed because of you. "The President is not going to be too happy about this and we need to not start anymore uprisings or he'll think we're leading a rebellion!"

I take a raspy breath to calm myself. "What do I have to do? Just tell me how to survive this Tour because I can't do this by myself."

"You need to listen to your friend Armin, read from Hanji's cards, and follow my orders. You need to keep a cool head and stay low. Don't say anything that would spark a disturbance. You are a puppet of the Capitol now. You try to cut your stings and you will bring down the wrath of the President on all of us. You got that?" Levi says sharply and I nod. This is going to be a tough three months.

* * *

><p>"Are you alright, Mikasa?" Armin asks. We're back on the train for another long trip to District Four. I haven't had an appetite though and didn't eat my dinner and I haven't spoken at all.<p>

"I'm fine, Armin," I tell him but I remember what Levi said earlier. "What do you think I should do?" I ask him.

Armin sits next to me and thinks for a few moments. "Well," he finally says, "given the position that we're in, I believe some Districts will be rioting no matter what you say. But you just can't make it seem like you are causing the riots. Read from Hanji's cards and if people start rioting act like nothing is happening and continue like everything is normal and continue to praise the Capitol."

And I do just that.

It's not so bad in District Four though. I honestly wish I could say something honorable about Jean. He was a good ally to me and saved my life more than once. I see his mother standing underneath Jean's screen and she looks awful, her face is swollen and red from crying so hard. But I continue to read from the cards. The people regard me with respect but a couple salutes me and I stop mid speech and look over at Levi but he just nods towards the cards in my hands and I continue to read from them and the couple gets dragged off out of sight.

After my speech the Military Police are ushering people out of the Town Square and we are about to head back into the building but I suddenly feel a tight grasp on my shoulder. I spin and grab the hand and twist it reflexively. But it's only Jean's mother and I let go and apologize, feeling ashamed about how on edge and guarded the Games have made me. But she only smiles at me kindly. Out of the corner of my eye I see Levi coming over defensively but I wave him away. I wanted to talk to Jean's mother anyways.

"I watched you in the Games. How bravely you fought and what you did for that girl in District Five." Jean's mother sniffs, "you are such a kind person and I just wanted to thank you for becoming friends with my Jean-boy and not killing him when you had that chance." Her smile wavers a bit but she covers her mouth and continues, "I hope he didn't cause you too much trouble, he always was a problem child but he really was a good boy." Tears start running down her face and I instinctively hug the woman and she cries into my shoulder.

"You should be proud of your son. Jean was brave too and incredibly intelligent. He probably saved my life more than I saved his. I'm so sorry for your loss but I'm glad I got to get to know your son and become his friend." I never thought of Jean as a friend, just a good ally. But if we were put in such shitty situations, I think we could have actually become good friends.

* * *

><p>It is worse in District Three; I expected this because I was the one who killed Ymir from their District. But as I'm praising the Capitol and the glory of the Walls that protect us, they start to get angry. They're yelling and trying to push past the Wall Guard that is between me and them.<p>

"Tell us how you really feel, _Wings of Freedom_!" One woman shouts and then is beaten with a club. But I continue to smile and pretend like nothing is wrong.

"The Capitol and the Walls protects us. Behind these Walls we are safe; behind these Walls we are at peace. Praise Maria, Rose, and Sina."

* * *

><p>My nightmares have gotten so bad that I haven't been able to sleep at all. Ever since returning from the Games they have gotten worse but now they are unbearable. I'm constantly being awoken from my own screams that rip through my throat until it's raw. I thrash and lash out in my sleep and when I awake there's always wet tears covering my face. One night Armin awakes from my screams in the middle of the night and comes rushing in.<p>

"Mikasa! What's wrong?" he asks frantically.

"It's nothing, Armin, just a nightmare. I'm sorry I woke you. But I'm fine now, you can go back to bed," I tell him but he continues to stand in my doorway.

"Would you be better if I stayed with you during the night?" He questions. "That way you wouldn't be alone and your nightmares might not be as bad."

I ponder this and I seriously don't know if it would help my nightmares. But I would feel better having someone here with me when I wake up from them, to assure that it was just a dream and none of it was real. So I nod and Armin comes to lie next to me. It's nice to have a warm body for comfort and I drift back to sleep and my nightmares do not wake me anymore.

* * *

><p>The people in Wall Sina are more laidback and don't make such a fuss because they live luxurious lifestyles and can't find a reason to riot against me or the Capitol. Districts One and Two are usually the ones with the Victors and because of all their winnings they usually have lots of food and money to spare. But they do not greet me warmly because I killed both of District Two's Players and one from District One.<p>

Finally, my Tour in the Districts is over and now I just have to make it through the parties in the Capitol. Hanji says that the festivities will go on for a week and on the last night is when I will be crowned followed by a masquerade and fireworks. And then I can finally go home and my life will return to normal. Well, as normal as it can be now.

Ida has me fitted into a new dress for the masquerade. It's long and heavy because it is made entirely out bright red feathers. At first I had my doubts about it but once Ida put it on me it truly looks beautiful. She also made me a simple black mask but with a very intricate design. "Red really is your color, dear." Ida tells me on my last fitting before the masquerade.

Hanji finally comes to escort us to the party. Her outfit looks like it's made from purple snake skin with a green mask. Armin got a brand new outfit made for him too. It's a light blue suit with a simple white mask. Levi's suit is entirely black and he is also wearing a long black coat and a black velvet mask. It actually doesn't look too bad on him and black does suit him nicely.

"Now, everybody who's anybody will be here," Hanji informs us. "So I need you all to be on your best behavior. Especially you two," Hanji says gesturing to me and Levi. Our escort then smiles, "Shall we, Armin?" Hanji declares and takes the little blondes arm and make their way towards the Palaces courtyard.

"Shall we?" Levi mimics Hanji and offers me his arm. I laugh and take it and we make our way to the courtyard. "I really do hate these things," Levi says tiredly.

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and notice how the dark rings around his drowsy eyes have gotten even darker behind his mask. I wonder if he's been sleeping well because I know how much I hate the Capitol and he was probably dreading this even more than I was. Besides that, I get distracted at our height difference. I smile because I'm much taller than him now with my heels on.

Levi catches me staring and frowns. "What's so funny?"

"I guess I never realized how short you actually are, Levi."

"Shut it, brat."

We follow closely behind Hanji and Armin and there are hundreds of people just lined up to get the chance to just look at me. It's a strange thing to be adored by so many strangers.

"Remember to smile," Hanji calls back to us.

I try my best to smile but Levi just continues to scowl. We enter the courtyard and it's lit up with thousands of different colored lights. Off to one side there is a giant buffet table filled with all sorts of food and people standing off to the side conversing. In the center of the courtyard is a dance floor and there are many couples already dancing. In the back there is a stage where I am to be crowned. I have never seen anything like this.

Levi escorts me to the stage where I'm handed over to President Zackly who takes me up onto the stage. On a pedestal there is a small, rounded, gold crown. The President walks over and picks it up and before he places it on my head he announces into the microphone, "Tonight we celebrate you, Victor, may you live in peace for the rest of your days within the security of the Walls." He places the crown on my head and there is a deadly glint in his eyes. I don't think he likes me very much but the crowd cheers wildly. He then leans forward and whispers into my ear, "I have some news for you later."

I want to get away from him as fast as I can and make my way down the stage to join Levi again. Hanji comes bouncing over to us. "Isn't this just wonderful? I just love parties." She then looks at Armin. "Well then, shall we dance, Armin?"

"Huh?" Armin mutters but before he can say anything else Hanji is already dragging him to the dance floor. I look over at Levi and he's about to say something but suddenly a tall man appears before us.

"May I have this dance, Victor?" He asks bowing.

I swallow and accept his hand and I'm led out to the dance floor as well. I look back at Levi but he's already disappeared.

"Allow me to introduce myself," the man says, "My name is Mike Zackarius." I remember hearing that name somewhere before but I can't remember where or who he is. "I am the new Head Game-Maker."

Now I remember who he is. "It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." He is the one who's in charge of everything in the Games. He's the one who tells the Game-Makers what to do, from the temperature to the floods or storms. He's even the one who chooses the location. He is very young to be Head Game-Maker, I'm guessing in his mid-twenties. His mask is very flamboyant with lots of large feathers and jewels and the nose is greatly exaggerated.

"Oh, but the pleasure is all mine, I assure you. It's not every day one gets to dance with the _Wings of Freedom," _he says and my blood runs cold. But he just laughs, "Nothing to be worried about. It's an honorable title even if it is only a rumor. But I'll let you in on a little rumor of my own. It's about the next Game. As you know it will be the 75th anniversary for the Games and I assure you it will be a Quarter Quell to remember. And this is when the real monsters will be unleashed."

A Quarter Quell. Every twenty-five years the Games will do something special for the Quarter Quell. The last Quarter Quell was before I was even born but I heard they had doubled the amount of Players in the Game and who knows what they'll do special this year. I wonder what he could have meant by saying the real monsters will be unleashed? And I suddenly realize that this year I might be a Mentor for one of the Players that get chosen. Was this man helping me prepare for the Quarter Quell?

But before I can ask about it, someone taps on Mike's shoulder. "Do you mind if I cut in?" asks President Darius Zackly.

"Oh, President. Not at all, sir!" Mike says and hands me off to the President.

"My, don't you look lovely tonight, my dear," he says smiling and a chill runs down my spine. His mask reminds me of a bat.

"Thank you, for the compliment."

"You'll be happy to know that the small rioters in the Districts have been dealt with. So many people have died in your name. But you did very well. The rumors have stopped and now people are cursing your name. I guess you're not the savior they thought you were."

I grit my teeth and I feel my rage boiling on the inside. How dare him! How dare he do this to me! I only wanted what was best for the people in the Districts. I only wanted them to stop the rumors so they wouldn't be harmed. I never wanted them to be killed in my name!

"Excuse me," a voice snarls behind me. "But I believe I have the next dance."

The Presidents upper lip curls like he just smelt something rancid. "Of course," he says and turns sharply to walk away. And Levi takes his place. It's a good thing too, I don't know what I would've done if Levi hadn't cut in.

"Thank you," I murmur.

"Don't worry about it. You looked like you needed a new partner," Levi remarks. "Don't listen to anything that man says. He's just trying to get under your skin with his lies."

"You really think he was lying about that?" I ask.

"That's his favorite way to torture."

Suddenly the fireworks start to go off and everyone stops to watch and cheer. But I'm frozen. Sweat starts to break out on my forehead and my fingers dig into Levi's shoulder as I grit my teeth as hard as I can and squeeze my eyes shut.

"Hey, are you alright?" I hear Levi ask concerned.

But I am anything far from alright because with every explosion of fireworks it reminds me of the boom from a cannon and I'm brought right back into the Games again. The visions paralyze me and I can't hold it back any longer and I scream and collapse. But Levi's strong arms catch me and he lifts me up and carries me off the dance floor.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. I got you. You're safe, you're not there anymore. You're with me. You are safe." Levi keeps reassuring me and I bury my face in his shoulder and wrap my arms tightly around his neck.

"Is Mikasa okay?" I hear Armin ask nervously.

"She'll be fine. I'm going to bring her back to our room though." Levi remarks.

No matter what I do all I can see is blood. There's dead bodies lying everywhere and it's my fault. I couldn't save them. I couldn't save Eren. All I can see is my own hands stabbing Reiner and Bertholdt in the chest and another round of fireworks goes off. I see Annie's horrified face as she's about to fall and Ymir's headless body. I killed them. There's so much blood and all I can see are the people I've killed and the ones I couldn't save. They're all staring at me and I'm totally helpless. It's all too much and I black out.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**The Change**

When I finally come back around I realize there's a cold rag resting over my eyes. It's very quiet and I'm very warm. I remove the rag and look around. The warmth was coming from a heated blanket that covers me and I'm back in the main lounging car of our train and I'm lying of the couch.

"Feel better?" Levi asks from a chair in the corner of the room.

Tears of embarrassment start to fill my eyes and I feel my face start to burn. I bury my face in my hands. "I'm pathetic. Why am I so weak? It's disgraceful."

"Hey," Levi says moving closer to me. "You are not weak. You are one of the strongest people I know. If anyone else were put in your situation they would have been put in a mental home by now. You are strong. You've been through more traumatizing events than anyone else and you're still standing. So don't you dare call yourself pathetic, you hear me?"

I'm confused but relieved by Levi's comforting words. It's a very rare occasion for Levi so say anything so positive to anyone. But I'm grateful to him because I'm able to calm down and it's not too much later when Armin and the rest of them come back to the train. I reassure them all that I feel much better now and I just want to go home.

* * *

><p>The train ride home is much shorter since we don't have to make any stops along the way. And we would be back in District Six by morning. That night I cling onto the back of Armin's shirt as we try to sleep. But as I thought, sleep refuses to come to me that night. For I fear my nightmares are going to be worse than ever before. I watch as the sun fills the morning with a graying light and I'm still awake when Hanji comes into my room to wake us in the morning.<p>

* * *

><p>A week has passed and still my nightmares are horrifying and they haven't gotten any better. Armin has generously stayed with me some nights and it has helped some. But my nightmares continue to plague my sleep. I dream of fires and monsters. I dream of my parents and my adopted mother that I couldn't save. I dream of blood. I see the dead faces of the people I've killed and the ones I couldn't save. I dream of the old man who was shot because of me and of all the rioters that were killed because of me. I dream of Eren. But most of all, in my dreams, everyone blames me for what I've done to them.<p>

Since returning from the Tour things are finally starting to settle down. It seems like I haven't missed anything in the three months I've been gone and all the snow is already almost all melted. Today I decide to go into the poorer part of the District to see how things are going and if I could help in any way. People call this part of the District the Black Unit because they are so poor there is a lot of illegal trading going on but the Wall Guards here are lenient and look the other way.

I usually sell some of the more expensive merchandise that came with my house for little money in the Black Unit so they can make a profit off of it. Today I have a jewelry box to trade with because I don't own any jewelry. But when I get to my usual shop I see that Levi is there as well and looks to be giving them his own money.

"Oh, hello, Mikasa!" the old shopkeeper says waving and Levi turns and looks just as surprised to see me as I am to see him.

"Hello, Reggie," I say to the shopkeeper and I turn to Levi, "I didn't expect to see you in this part of town?"

"Oh, Levi has been coming here for years now. Ever since he became a Victor to be exact," Reggie tells me and smiles kindly at Levi. "What do you have for me today, Mikasa?"

I hand over my jewelry box and take an old, cheap broche in return. Levi just scoffs, "What are you going to keep your pin in now that you don't have a jewelry box?"

I roll my eyes and thank Reggie and start to walk away. "Hey!" Levi calls and a moment later catches up with me. "Where are you going now?" he asks.

I glower at him. I was going to go to visit Eren's oak tree but I don't know if I should tell Levi about going outside of the border. But considering that Levi is already involved with the Black Unit I don't think he would care too much. "I'm going outside of the District," I finally tell him.

"You know that's illegal, right?" he states. "It's also punishable by death according to the Capitol."

"It's fine. Eren and I have been playing out there since we were kids. I'm friends with the Head Wall Guard," I reassure Levi but he still has a subdued look on his face.

"Why are you going out there?" he questions.

I pause. "I'm going to visit Eren. There was a big oak tree that was his favorite place to escape to. And it still feels like he's there."

"Is it alright if I come?"

I'm taken aback by Levi's question and I stop to look at him uncertainly. He just looks back at me somberly. "I still haven't paid my respects yet and I really liked that kid," he informs me so I just nod and we make our way to the Wall Gate together.

"Have your nightmares gotten any better?" Levi asks once we've made it out to the tree. Flashes of monsters and fire flash through my mind and I look at the sky. It's cloudy today and it looks like it might rain.

I shake my head. "No."

"I don't think that the nightmares ever go away," he says looking at the tree. "But they will become so natural to you that you'll just get used to them. You'll forget what it's like to sleep without nightmares and they will just become part of you. But it won't make it any easier."

Levi asks if he could have some time alone so I head back to the Gate to wait with Hannes for him. While we're waiting, I notice a train pull up to the station. "Were we supposed to have any visitors?" I ask Hannes.

"I don't believe so," Hannes remarks.

Suddenly, about fifty Military Police from the Capitol exit from the train and make their way towards Hannes and me. I glance nervously at Hannes because Levi is still outside of the District and there's no way to warn him.

"Greetings," Hannes calls as the Military Police near. "What brings you to District Six today?"

"Are you the Head Wall Guard?" the Chief Military Policeman asks.

Hannes nods. "What's this about?"

"In order of President Darius Zackly, we are here to take charge of District Six and relieve all Wall Guards, for it has come to our knowledge that District Six has become indulgent and not severe enough on their crimes," the Chief Military Policeman commands.

"You can't be serious?!" Hannes stammers.

"Please retire your post and head home, sir. We do not want to cause a scene." Already Military Police have started to spread out and take posts among the Gate and some even travel into town. I start to hear screams and I realize they're coming from the Black Unit. I run towards the screams and see that the Military Police are dragging people out of their shops and homes and setting them on fire. I see Reggie trying to fight off a man and he hits her over her head with a club and walks away. I run to help her when I suddenly hear a gun shot. I turn back and see that Hannes is lying on the ground with a bullet hole in his forehead. And in the grasp of two Military Police is Levi.

"Bring him to the Square," the Chief Military Policeman orders and they drag Levi off.

I run to Hannes' side but he's already dead. They shot him for letting Levi outside of the Gate. None of this would have happened if I just wouldn't have had to visit Eren. I am the cause of death for another innocent person. Hannes was once a good friend to Eren's mother and was almost like an uncle to me. He helped us survive after the death of Eren's mother and took care of us when we needed him. And now he's gone, right before my eyes, and it's my fault.

Abruptly, I hear a crack ring through the air and I remember that they caught Levi being outside of the border. _It is punishable by death according to the Capitol. _Levi's words replay in my head and I'm running as fast as I can. I have to get to the Town Square.

I run past burning buildings and crying people but I can't stop. I finally make it to the Town Square and there already are a crowd of people gathered around. I try to push my way past them when I suddenly hear a familiar voice.

"Mikasa!" Armin calls out and he rushes over to me.

"Armin, is it Levi? What are they doing to him?" I ask frantically. And then there's another crack and an agonizing growl. "Let me through!" I call out.

"Mikasa, don't!" Armin cries and takes my arm. But people had already moved aside for me. I see the Chief Military Policeman standing off with a bloody whip in his hand. In the center of the crowd is a pole, it was once used for punishments for people but it hasn't been used in ages. But at the bottom of the pole is a figure on his knees with his back to us. His arms are bound around the pole and the back of his shirt is torn open and bloody. The Chief brings down the whip again and it cracks across the figures back. He cries out in pain and I realize that the bloody figure is Levi.

"Stop!" I cry but Armin holds tightly onto my arm.

"Don't, Mikasa, you'll only make it worse for the both of you!" Armin tries to reason with me.

But I break free from his grasp and try to run to Levi but I'm stopped by two more Military Police. I cry for the man to stop but he just smiles and brings the whip down across Levi's back again. By now Levi is already passed out from the pain and is hanging motionless from where he's tied.

"You'll kill him!" I scream.

"Good!" the Chief yells. "The President will thank me. He's wanted this one gone for quite some time. It's bad enough he couldn't have just died in the Games!" And he cracks the whip once again down on Levi.

Enraged, I jam my elbow into one of the Military Police's side and ram my knee into the other's groin, one tries to grab me but I throw him into the other man and they both collapse to the ground. I break past them and run towards the Chief. But he takes out a gun and points it at my head.

"Stop!" Armin yells and runs between the two of us. "These two are Victors! They are supposed to be treated with respect and high ranked according to the Capitol. They have done nothing wrong and if you hurt or injure them it is a major offence."

The Chief angrily points towards Levi. "This man was outside of the border."

"And you've already killed the one responsible for letting him out. I also think that Levi's gone through enough punishment. The only reason he was out was because it was a chore that the Head Wall Guard had him do. He asked Levi to go out there to pick a certain flower for the apothecary that only grows along the very edge outside of the Gate."

The Chief scowls but he lowers his whip. "This is a warning this time!" he yells out at the crowd. "The next time we catch anyone outside of the Gate will be shot on the spot. Now get out of my sight." And he storms off.

I rush to Levi's side but he's unconscious. His back looks like a slab of raw hamburger meat and is gashed open probably over forty times. I hurriedly untie his arms. "Armin, help me!" I cry and the blonde rushes over to help me lift him.

"We need to get him to a doctor, quick!" Armin remarks.

"No, my place is closer." I remember when I was only nine and living with the Jaeger's, Eren's dad was the only doctor in town and before Hannes was Head Wall Guard we had a stricter one and there would be an occasional whip victim coming to Dr. Jaeger for healing. I had all of Dr. Jaeger's medical supplies that didn't burn in the fire transferred to my new house and I remember exactly how to treat whip wounds. And the faster we treat Levi the better.

We get Levi into my kitchen and he's starting to regain consciousness again. He groans in pain as we lie him face down on my kitchen table. "Alright, Armin, get some snow from outside!" I order and Armin rushes off. I run to get some pain medication and bandages.

Armin rushes back into the house with a large bowl full of the remaining snow that hasn't melted yet. He's about to put it on Levi's back but I stop him. "Wait, I need to sedate him first or the pain will be too much for him to handle." By now Levi is fully awake and is pounding his fists on the table and yelling curse after curse at us when we restrain him from moving or getting off of the table. "Hold him as still as you can, Armin, while I give him a sedation shot," I tell him and Armin nods and tries his best to hold Levi down but with difficulty. I quickly jam the needle into Levi's neck and moments later he finally starts to calm down and is eventually knocked out.

I then proceed to clean out his wounds and cover his back with medical ointments and then the snow. I force myself to stay calm and not break down but I can't help but think that this was my fault. Everything that happened today was my fault. President Zackly didn't like the rumors that have been spreading about me and so he sent Military Police here to burn down the illegal Black Unit. It was my fault that Hannes was killed and it was my fault that Levi got punished.

The burning of the Black Unit seemed very familiar to me though. It was almost like back when the raiders burned down our house and killed Eren's mother. Now that I think about it, what if it just wasn't some random raiders that came all those years ago? What if they were sent by the Capitol like this time? It was right after Levi won the Games.

* * *

><p>"Mikasa, you should get some rest. I can watch him for a bit," Armin tells me coming back into the kitchen. It's dark out now and I've been resting in a chair by Levi's side. I haven't left him once and I've started to doze off from exhaustion.<p>

"That was a really brilliant lie you told the Chief Military Police," I say. "Did you- did you see Hannes get shot?" I ask because I remember Armin saying something about the one who was responsible was already dead.

"No, I didn't see it. But I heard the gun shot and I saw them whipping Levi and I just put two and two together," he says looking down.

"It was my fault. I'm the one who got him killed. I'm sorry Armin, I know you were friends with him too," I say rubbing my eyes.

"You didn't kill him, Mikasa. The Capitol did," Armin says stubbornly.

"No, you don't understand! Everything that happened today was my fault! I should have never gone outside of the Gate," I tell him. I want him to blame me. I want someone to curse my name and tell me I am not the _Wings of Freedom_ and that I'm not some sort of savior. "And it's my fault that they burned down the Black Unit too. Just like all those years ago."

"Mikasa, I have something to confess," Armin says and tears start to form in his blue eyes. "But I've been too scared to tell you and Eren because I thought you guys would hate me for it."

"What is it, Armin?" I ask curiously.

"The last fire wasn't just some random attack. And my parents didn't die in the same raid as the one that Eren's mom was killed in. They both disappeared shortly before the raid and I think the Capitol sent in those people for them," Armin tells me with tears rolling down his cheeks. I remember a few months after Eren's father had mysteriously disappeared, the raiders came and Eren's mother was killed. Armin told us that his parents were killed too and he had to live with his grandfather. "They did a lot of research about the outside world and I think the Capitol found out about it so they disappeared and I think Capitol sent in people to come and search for them but when they couldn't find them they got mad and started burning everything."

I reach out and grab Armin's hand. "Why would Eren or I hate you for that?"

Armin is still sniffling, "B-because I j-ju-,"

"Would you brats just shut up for a second?"

We both jump because we didn't realize that Levi had started to wake up. And he was now glaring at the two of us. "Levi, you should be resting," I tell him but he just scowls at me.

"I have a confession and I think you two deserve to know the truth about what happened five years ago." Armin and I just look at each other in shock. Levi takes a deep breath. "Shortly after I returned here after winning the Games, I met this couple who wished to travel beyond the Walls. I helped them escape, not just outside the Gate but outside of Wall Maria. But the Capitol found out somehow and sent in people to burn down most of District Six, my new home, as punishment so I would never help any others escape. And I haven't. But I found other ways to help out the people here, as you saw Ackerman, by donating my winnings to the Black Unit or others who need it. So if you're blaming anyone about what happened, blame me."

"You mean," Armin says rubbing his eyes, "my parents are living outside of the Walls? Are they still alive?"

"Who knows," Levi mutters, "that was the last I saw or heard of them."

I think of how Eren's father had disappeared also and ask, "Did you also help another man escape before that?"

Levi glances at me out of the corner of his eye. "No. Those were the only two I ever helped."

Just because Levi never helped him, doesn't mean that Eren's father couldn't have escaped on him own. He could be living outside of the Walls right now, along with Armin's parents. If they are still alive that is. And for the first time in my life, I actually felt like I wanted to know what way beyond these Walls and see the outside world.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**The Announcement**

I thought that I would make life better for the people in District Six by winning the Games, not worse. But as it turns out life is harder than ever now for them. With stricter laws and with the new Chief of the Military Police acting as our Head Wall Guard, we have even harsher punishments. Life here has become like walking through a mine field; one wrong step and everything blows up. I no longer want to risk going out to visit Eren anymore so my mood has become shortened and anxious. It could also be from my lack of sleep because my nightmares have gotten even worse and Armin has started to come over less and less in fear of getting caught by the Military Police.

Tonight President Zackly will announce the rules for the next Quarter Quell Games. The Reaping will happen in a week. Armin asked if he should come over for the announcements but I told him that I was fine and he didn't need to worry.

I sigh deeply and sit down on my couch and stare at the black screen and wait for the President's face to show up. I put my hands over my head, _how am I supposed to be a Mentor? _I think to myself. I've never been too good at talking to others, especially explaining things. And now I'm going to be a Mentor and teach the next Players from District Six how to survive in the Games. I couldn't even save Eren so how am I to be trusted with the lives of two other Players? At least Levi will be there to help and he's a pretty decent Mentor.

I look at the clock. There's still a half an hour before the announcement. I stand abruptly. I can't take this any longer. There's still enough time and I need to run. I sprint out into the warm afternoon. All the snow has finally melted and the air is sticky with heat. But I don't care about the heat. Running always helped clear my head.

It starts to rain as I run past the Victors Lane gate and into the Black Unit. I run past the burnt down buildings. The only remains are the charred skeletons of the homes that were once here. The wind picks up and the ashes blow through the air. This was my fault.

"YOU! HALT!" It's one of the Military Police calling and I stop in my tracks but I don't turn around. He continues, "Everyone is required to watch the announcement. If you don't return to your home this moment I'll have to detain you to the cells."

I slowly turn and watch as recognition passes over the Military Policeman's face and he slowly smiles. I don't like his smile. It's almost like he knows something I do not. I could kill him easily. His arms are crossed and he has two swords strapped to his sides and a small gun at his belt. But all I would have to do is charge at him. He'll be slow to draw his gun and at the last moment I would use the slick mud to my advantage and slide down while sweeping his legs out from under him with a swing of my leg and take his swords in the process. It's almost too simple and I would be so fast he wouldn't even have time to realize what's happening.

I'm immediately snapped out of my daydream as thunder starts to rumble. Since when did I start to think like that? Despite my violent thoughts, I don't want to cause any trouble so I silently head home to await the pending announcement.

I pace in my living room and finally my screen turns on automatically and the President is there with a gleeful look on his face. "Greetings, as you all should know, this will be the 75th Game. Meaning it will also be a Quarter Quell with a twist. The rules for this year's Quarter Quell will show that even the strongest shall fall. And so I decree that this year's Players will be reaped from the already existing pool of Victors. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor. And always remember that in these Walls we are safe. In these Walls we have order and peace. Praise Maria, Rose, and Sina."

On this day humanity received a grim reminder that we still live in fear of the Capitol and their Games and even the Victors shall fall. The screen goes black and I'm frozen where I stand but my mind is racing a million miles an hour. I'm going back into the Games again. This was the President's plan all along. His only way to get rid of me being a threat or a symbol without me becoming a martyr. Suddenly, my mind flashes through the faces of the male Victors in District Six and only one face shows up. Levi. I sprint out of the front door and run across the street to Levi's house.

"Levi!" I call out as I enter but I immediately freeze in shock. For Levi's house, which is usually spotless, is in a complete disaster. Chairs are turned over and glass is shattered all over the floor. I run into the next room and I find Levi sitting on the only standing chair left. His head is in his hands and he's shaking violently. "Levi," I say softly and I walk over to him. I reach my hand out to place it on his shoulder but in a flash like lightning his hand darts out and firmly grasps my wrist. His dark eyes turn upwards towards me and he looks at me through his black hair that hangs in front of his face. His eyes have a steely glint in them and I swear I've never seen him look like this before. It's terrifying and his presence feels like a caged wild animal.

"Get out," he says so low that I can barely hear him but his words have such venom in them that I'm taken aback. He lets go of my wrist and I quickly turn and flee from his house. It's stupid and I hate myself for it but I feel hot tears fill up in the corners of my eyes. I don't know why I'm so upset because I can understand Levi's anger but why did he need to take it out on me?

I don't want to go back home so I run towards the gate of Victors Lane but as I run towards it I see Armin coming this way and I stop. The rain is coming down so hard now that I don't think Armin notices me until he is only a few feet away. He finally stops and looks at me. I can only hope that he mistakes my tears for raindrops but I can see that his eyes are red and swollen as well as if he was crying too. He doesn't say anything though and continues to run once again but instead of going into my house like I thought he would, he runs straight into Levi's. I'm too angry and confused to worry about it and I continue to run out of Victors Lane. I keep running until I get to the border of our District and look out past the fence. Something doesn't sound normal and I lean closer to the fence, it's humming with electricity. Our Wall Guards turned off the electric fence years ago in order to conserve the Districts power. The Military Police must have turned it back on. I focus on what's behind the fence and I can barely make out Eren's tree through the rain off in the distance. I look beyond the tree and I can see the outermost Wall Maria.

What if I ran out of here and kept on running. Levi said he helped Armin's parents past the Wall. Why couldn't we go outside of the Wall as well? Away from the Capitol and their Games, away from the rumors of the _Wings of Freedom_ that I could never be, away from all the painful memories this place has. We could escape it all.

* * *

><p>The next morning I'm awaken by a knocking at my door. Thinking that it's Armin, I put on a robe to go answer it. But to my surprise when I open the door it is Levi. There isn't a trace on his face of the malice I saw last night. Instead he looks ashamed and tired. The dark rings under his hooded eyes are even darker and his usual scowl is somewhat mellowed out.<p>

"Can I come in?" He asks and after I second I step aside and allow him to pass. He goes to sit at my kitchen table and I follow and go to make some coffee. "I'm sorry for how I acted towards you last night," he says to my back. "I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you like that."

I continue to stare at the coffee pot and don't say anything. I can almost feel his eyes staring at the back of my head. I don't know what to say to him. I feel as if it's pointless to forgive him since I realized I wasn't even mad at him, just hurt. But I don't know what I was expecting when I entered his house last night. Did I expect us to seek console in each other and comfort each other from the terrors we are both about face yet again, like Eren and I would do. I guess I was naïve; this is Levi we are talking about here.

"We could run away," I finally say and I turn around. "You said you knew a way outside of the Walls. We could escape and not have to worry about any of this ever again."

Levi's deep scowl settles back again and his brow returns to its normal furrow. "We can't do that," he finally says and I feel my shoulders fall.

"Why not?" I ask desperately.

"What about Armin, huh? Are you just going to leave your friend?" he says getting angrier.

"He could come with us," I say trying to sound enthusiastic and I walk over to stand in front of him. But Levi just shakes his head.

"And what about the people in your District? Are you just going to abandon them?" His voice is getting louder with each sentence. "Don't you remember what I told you? About what how the Capitol said that if I helped anyone else they would destroy this District like they destroyed my last home? If we left they would kill everyone here, especially now."

I fall into the seat across from him and let the words sink in. I know he's right, I know we can't leave. "I can't go back there. I can't do that again," I say looking down and slowly shaking my head.

Levi reaches over the table and places his hand over mine. "It's going to be alright," he tells me. "I promise."

I desperately want to believe him. But any way you look at our situation people are going to die again and I will lose more of the people I care about. I promised Eren I would live and I want to but I also don't want Levi to die.

* * *

><p>The rest of the week goes by slowly and I barely leave my house. Every once in a while I will see Armin go to visit Levi's house and I'm a little jealous because he hasn't come to see me once since the announcement. I didn't even know when they became such good friends.<p>

Finally it's the night before the Reaping and there's a knock on my door. The moment I open the door I'm embraced by my blonde friend. "Can I stay here tonight?" Armin asks and I haven't been this relieved in a long time and I nod. He still hasn't stopped hugging me and says, "I'm sorry I haven't been over to see you in a while but I've been very busy." He finally puts his arms down and looks up at me. "I can't believe it's happening all over again." And I can finally see that he has tears in his eyes and he wipes them with his sleeve.

I thought I would finally get one last peaceful sleep before I have to leave. But tonight even the presence of Armin lying by my side cannot stop the nightmares.

* * *

><p>The next morning Armin walks with me to the village square where the Reaping is to be held. "I don't know what to do," I tell him as we walk. "I want to keep my promise to Eren but that means I'll have to kill more people that don't deserve to die. It also means that I might have to kill Levi too and I don't think I can do that." If Levi is as good as he was when he won the Games then that means it may come down to just the two of us in the end. I know I can make it to the end but I honestly don't know how I could do in a fight against Levi. I was only ten at the time but I still remember flashes of watching a fifteen year old Levi win the Games in the fastest time in the Games history. His attacks were fast and deadly and nobody stood a chance against him in a fight.<p>

"I don't want to kill more people, Armin. I don't want to become the person that the Capitol thinks I am. I don't want to become a merciless, killing machine. That's not who I am and I don't know how I'm going to make it through this."

Armin looks hard at the ground. We stop right before we enter the town square. Finally he looks up at me. I don't think I've ever seen him this serious before. "People, who can't throw something important away, can never hope to change anything."

I'm left to ponder over his words because just then the Military Police come and escort me onto the stage where Hanji and Levi are already waiting. And as I look at Levi, it's his expression that gets me to finally understand Armin's words. I can see all the bloodlust and hatred in Levi's eyes and I know it's mirrored in my own eyes.

Fine, if the Capitol views me as a nothing but a merciless, killing machine, who should be feared, that's just who I will be. I will be a true terror to behold and I will give them a real reason to fear_ me_ and not just the rumors.


End file.
